


The Past is the Past

by HomeForImaginaryFriends



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Homophobia, M/M, Reunions, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-07
Updated: 2016-10-10
Packaged: 2018-08-20 00:00:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8229226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HomeForImaginaryFriends/pseuds/HomeForImaginaryFriends
Summary: Azumane Asahi returns home after 6 years of being away, and learns that problems you leave behind don't just go away. (Especially if those "problems" involve Nishinoya Yuu, who's never given up anything without a fight).





	1. Chapter One

_“I’m getting married and I want you to be there.”_

If it had been any other of his brothers Azumane Asahi would have made excuses not to come back home, or maybe he’d just pretend he never heard the message. He could have said he was out on the boat for a long haul and when he got back, it was too late to make it in time for the wedding. Of course it had to be Kaito, the youngest Azumane boy, to leave the short, blunt message in his soft, no-nonsense tone.

Asahi had buckled under the pressure of three older brothers, but not Kaito. He was quiet, but he had a backbone of steel. If Asahi didn’t agree to his demands, Kaito was most likely to show up at Asahi’s home and he would use every dirty trick in the book to make Asahi fold. Including mentioning that Asahi had missed out on every single one of Kaito’s birthdays for the past seven years, his high school and college graduation, all of Kaito’s concerts, and most holidays.

So Asahi was back in Miyagi, making the achingly familiar trek from the train station to his parents home up on a mountain for a wedding that was sure to be full of people he hadn’t seen in years. Living in a remote fishing village hadn’t helped with Asahi’s nerves of shyness, if anything being back where there are so many people crowded together, even a rural area where his parents lived, was already draining Ashi’s energy. He couldn’t imagine being shoved from one family member to another family friend, asking about his life and what he was doing and why wouldn’t he cut his hair or when was he going to produce some grandbabies.

“You’re too far in now, too many people have seen you to turn back.” Asahi jumped and spun around, trying to calm his racing heart as he stared at two of his brothers, who’s hands were full of grocery bags. “Still as jumpy as ever.” Sora, the closet to Asahi in age, tsked as he shoved bags into Asahi’s limp hands.

“Sora, leave him be.” Haruki, who was just a year older than Sora and who looked so much like his younger brother they were often mistaken for twins, shoved Sora.

“He’s been here two seconds and I’ve already been scolded.” Sora laments as Asahi and Haruki follow behind him.

“He’s been here two seconds and you’re already messing with him.” Haruki corrects before kicking Sora in the back, causing his younger brother to stumble forward and glare over his shoulder at him.

“Resorting to violence, how juvenile, I have junior high students with more maturity than you.” Sora replies, nose in the air, but it doesn’t stop him from whipping around to hit Haruki with his bags.

“If you break the eggs, mom will be mad.” Haruki goes to kick the back of Sora’s knee, but the younger brother dodges out of the way.

“If you break the eggs, mom will be mad.” Sora mocks. Asahi can feel some of the tension easing out of his shoulders as his brothers bicker back and forth. They might be 28 and 29 years old respectfully, but when they were around each other they might as well be 9 and 10.

“Is everyone here?” Asahi asks when they break from their fight to make sure they hadn’t broken anything in their bags. Luckily Asahi had been carrying the eggs.

“Noburu and dad don’t come in until tomorrow, but Emiko should be here by tonight.” Noburu was the oldest Azumane son, and had gone to work for their father at his law firm after he graduated college. He was 33 years old, married for 11 years, had two daughters under the age of 10, and hadn’t really spoken to Asahi since he found out his younger brother was gay.

Asahi hadn’t really planned on telling his family ever. It wasn’t as if he had any one man he was with, but Nishinoya Yuu had changed that. For once Asahi had seen a future, and he had told his family after he graduated high school. Kaito hadn’t cared, Sora had claimed he ‘called it’, Haruki had worried, and his mother had asked about a million questions before settling on the fact that Asahi could always adopt, there were plenty of babies who needed a good home, and pestered him about adopting three girls so the household wouldn’t be so one sided in gender terms. Noburu hadn’t reacted well, he had told Asahi he shouldn’t shame the family that way, and that he definitely should not bring down a talented athlete like Nishinoya Yuu with his depravities. Asahi’s father didn’t speak to him for a month before offering a job on a fishing boat far north.

After things had ended badly with Nishinoya, Asahi had accepted the job and tried to disappear from his family's life like he thought they would want. Noburu was the one person Asahi was dreading seeing the most, even more so than their father, who after a bit of awkward silence, had started talking to Asahi more often. Mostly calling every once and awhile to make sure he had enough money, that he was sleeping right, and the job was treating him well, and to be careful, there was a storm coming in.

Several hours later found Asahi back in his old bedroom, noting very little had changed in the years since high school. The drapes and bedding are new, but his desk and bookshelves are still there. The old trophies and photographs, everything newly dusted. Asahi tries not to look too hard at the photos but he finds himself rolling off his bed and studying them in the dim light.

There were middle school volleyball team photos, cringe worthy because he had been about as short as Hinata, but about 10 kilograms heavier. He had only joined because his father had insisted on him being in a club, and his junior high's volleyball team had been notoriously bad. Asahi hadn’t thought that his father would make him continue on with the club in high school. His first year with Suga and Daichi. Asahi had a growth spurt, but he was suddenly tall with no experience on how to operate long limbs. He had been gawky and awkward, which hadn’t been helped by the fact that Daichi and Suga seemed to be fully formed and graceful as always. His second year had been better, and the bowl cut Sora had tricked him into getting had grown out, thankfully. Old Ukai had always been yelling at Asahi to eat more, how are you suppose to gain any muscle mass if you don’t eat more? Eating had helped with the growing pains too, that and the intensive workout meant by second year Asahi was in a good position to be the ace. Third year-

Asahi sighed as he turned down that group picture. Thinking about his old team hurt enough without actually seeing their smiling faces. Even his friendships with Daichi and Suga had gradually fizzled out. They had tried to keep in contact, but each time Asahi felt like more and more of an unwanted burden on both of them, and they were too polite just to cut him off themselves so Asahi did it instead. That and distance had effectively ended their friendship.

“Hello hello?” Emiko called out softly as she knocked on his door before peeking inside and beaming at him. “Good, you’re still awake!” She brought in a tray of food and Asahi was thankful for his caring sister-in-law.

“Where are the girls?” Asahi asked after thanking her for the food and placing the tray on his desk.

“With my parents, the wedding is for adults only.” Emiko answered before pulling out her phone to show Asahi his nieces.

“I’m sorry I haven’t seen you in a while.” Asahi hadn’t even met Emiko and Noburu’s youngest daughter, and he wasn’t even quite sure if Emiko knew the full reason why the two brothers avoided each other. She was an intelligent woman, but she was also naive and blindly in love with Noburu. Noburu never saw fault with Emiko either.

“Don’t even worry about it,” Emiko shook her hand dismissively before giving Asahi a quick peck on his temple before seeing herself out. Asahi sat down at his desk and silently thanked Emiko again. Emiko who had never minded that he was quiet and awkward, who understood that he rather be alone and didn’t get offended by that. How gentle Emiko and stern Noburu got together, Asahi will never understand, but something must be right since they were 11 years into their married with no sign of stopping.

\----

The next day Asahi is waiting with Kaito at the train station for Kaito’s wife-to-be, Masako. Asahi was still not use to his little brother looking like an adult. He might just be the tallest of the Azumane boys, certainly a couple centimeters taller than Asahi though he happens to be the shortest of the bunch. Yet where Asahi is muscular, Kaito is wiry. The awkwardness of being the tallest kid in his class and youngest of five boys has slowly slipped away, and next to Asahi stands a man he barely knows.

Asahi is a little anxious to say the least. It doesn’t help that he knows the reason Kaito asked him specifically to come to the train station was because Noburu and their father were due home any minute. Being emotionally guarded by his little brother was not helping Asahi’s confidence.

“You look healthy, I meant to tell you last night but Sora and Haruki.” Kaito makes a vague motion about their brothers, but Asahi gets it. They tend to take the spotlight, which doesn’t bother the youngest Azumane men at all.

“Sora said I dressed like I’m homeless.” Asahi rolled his shoulders, trying to ease the tension from them as people rushed by them. Asahi didn’t mind big crowds, he liked the anonymity of being in them.

“Sora dresses like a tourist on the beach.” Kaito retorted, cringing slightly and making Asahi laugh. This morning Sora had on a bright yellow, flower printed shirt and khaki shorts. Kaito was dressed simply in black slacks and a white button down shirt, while Asahi wore the only pair of jeans that didn’t have holes in them and a black, thin sweater that had been shoved in the back of his closet, and so didn’t have any holes or unidentifiable stains on it. It was the best he could do, working on a fishing boat didn’t call for any fancy clothing.

Asahi mentally reminded himself that he would have to go shopping and find something suitable for the wedding.

“Masako.” Kaito didn’t have to raise his voice much, since he was taller than most people shuffling around them. Asahi didn’t see who he was waving at until a black ball barrelled into Kaito. Kaito took it surprisingly easily, taking a step back but hugging the woman happily. “Asahi this is Masako, Masako this is my brother Asahi.” The black bundle turned and smiled widely up at Asahi, and she really had to crane her neck because she was a little thing.

“Hello, it’s so nice to finally meet you, I know Kaito more demanded you come instead of inviting you, but I’m glad you showed up either way. I know it makes Kaito happy.” Masako rushed on, nearly bouncing in place.

“Nishinoya Masako?” Asahi managed to get out, hoping against all hope he was wrong but knowing he just wasn’t that lucky.

“You remembered! I was blonde back then, admittedly not my brightest idea, but I stick by my choices.” Her energy was a little manic, but he remembered her slamming doors and storming off more often than staying and having a conversation. “I was going through a little bit of a problem phase.” Masako said, as if she was reading his mind.

The walk back was awkward, but only on Asahi’s end of things. He wasn’t even sure if Kaito knew that Asahi had dated his future wife's older brother. Probably, Masako didn’t seem like the type of person to leave anything out. Actually she acted so much like Noya, it made Asahi’s stomach twist painfully.

“U-um, Masako-” Asahi stuttered when there was a small break in the conversation. “About the wedding.” He couldn’t seem to finish his sentence.

“My family will be there.” Masako said, her eyes the same shape and color as her older brothers. She was just as oddly observant as him too.

“I’m sorry.” Asahi said automatically, not quite sure what he was apologizing for but feeling the need to anyways. Masako punched his arm, and such a tiny fist should not hurt as much as it did.

“There’s nothing to apologize about, it was seven years ago.” Masako waved it off because Nishinoya’s didn’t let things linger. They didn’t stay grounded in the past, and they certainly didn’t let it affect their futures. “Yuu will be bringing a date though.” Masako said carefully, and Kaito was watching the scene with indifference, though his eyes softened whenever they fell on Masako.

Asahi tries not to let the fact that Noya has a date to a wedding, a wedding that he will also have to attend, show on his face even though it feels like he’s no longer walking on solid ground. He tries to tell himself that it was seven years ago, they had been teenagers and just like he isn’t the same person he was at 18, neither is Noya.

“You can leave if you want,” Kaito offers, which means Asahi, as usual, did a horrible job of concealing his feelings. “Mom will be-”

“Disappointed? Sad? Heartbroken?” Masako offered, and even though Asahi knew they didn’t mean it to guilt him, it still did.

“She’ll understand.” Kaito said, which is true. Their mother would be sad if Asahi left after only a night of being back, but she would understand. She would be heartbroken, not because of Asahi though he still felt responsible, but because one of her own children didn’t feel comfortable in their family home. No one knew the extent to which Noburu hated Asahi, since the older man had always managed to confront Asahi alone, and Asahi never gave it any real thought to tell anyone. He had already divided the family enough, he didn’t want anyone to feel as if they had to choose sides, and he was worried that no one would stand with him and then he’d lose what little contact he had with his family.

“Everything will be fine, this time isn’t about me anyways, it is about you two.” Asahi said softly, forcing a smile he didn’t particularly feel because he was weighed down by guilt of making his younger brother and his wife to be worry about him when they had a wedding in two days. “Will you be staying at our house for the wedding Masako?”

“Oh no, my parents would come and physically drag me back. They are actually holding my cello hostage to make sure I come home.” Masako grinned up at him.

“Is that how you two met?” Asahi asked in surprise. Kaito was a violinist, and while his popularity hadn’t exceeded Asia yet, there was talk of him playing in Europe.

“Yes, well no- you’re actually the real reason we met.” Masako continued with her story. Apparently once she had learned an Azumane son attended the same high school as her she had tracked him down. Their high school was widely known as one of the best for musicians in the prefecture. “I thought he was one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen, even if he was just a crummy violinist.” Kaito sighed at the dig, but his pale cheeks had turned faintly pink. Blunt honesty ran in the Nishinoya blood.

“She followed me everywhere.” Kaito admitted, his voice deadpan but his lips were twisted up in a smile.

“He liked it.” Masako fired back. “Azumane men like being chased, I heard the story about how your parents met.” Asahi laughed even as Kaito covered his face with a long fingered hand, shaking his head.

“I wish mom would stop telling that story.” Kaito muttered into his hand.

“No, it’s so cute!” They were laughing as they entered the house, but Asahi’s laughter tempered off quickly when he saw the two men dressed in suits.

“Papa Azumane!” Masako cheered, tossing off her shoes, which Kaito bent down to put into their proper place, before she slid across the floor and nearly slammed into their father. Asahi’s father, for his part, managed to catch her and patted her back awkwardly but with a fond smile before passing Masako off to his wife, who returned the hug with equal fierceness.

“Asahi,” The eldest Azumane male was as tall and severe looking as all his sons. His brown hair was more gray than the last time Asahi had seen, but mostly he looked the same. “You look well.” Asahi bowed and thanked him politely. Asahi couldn’t help but see that Masako watched the entire exchange with wide eyes, eyebrows raised so far up they disappeared beneath her black bangs.

“Would you like something to drink father?” Asahi asked into the sudden silence of the room.

“Oh, yes, that would be nice Asahi.” Asahi bowed again, choosing to squeeze past Masako and his mother than take the shorter route by Noburu, who was refusing to look at him.

Asahi could hear the loud voices of his two other brothers joining the fray, so he decided to make enough tea for everyone. He could feel the silent presence of his younger brother in the kitchen with him.

“Will you be going with Masako to her home today?” Asahi asked before Kaito could voice whatever was clearly bothering him. He had only been 15 when Asahi moved out, and he spent most of his time locked up in his own room, practicing his violin and studying. This was possibly the first time he had seen Asahi interact with their father and Noburu.

“Yes, we’ll have lunch here and dinner there. I’ll be coming home after that, the Nishinoya’s are-” Kaito trailed off, like he usually did when he felt like he might be edging on rude or insulting.

“I remember.” Asahi laughed. It had taken all of Asahi’s fortitude and courage to go over to Noya’s house the first couple times. The Nishinoya’s held nothing back, and they had all known exactly how Noya felt about Asahi. After a while though Asahi felt truly comfortable. He spent a good majority of his time there because the Nishinoya’s, while being just as loud and rambunctious as Noya himself, were also completely accepting of Asahi. He didn’t feel the need to fill silences or apologize for his nerves constantly. He could let Noya rest his head in Asahi’s lap while they were watching cartoons with Noya’s little brother without having to worry about his parents disapproving of their relationship. For once he could just be himself.

Apparently Kaito didn’t have the same experience, but then again Kaito never had a problem being himself. One time Sora had hidden his violin and Kaito had broken his bow over the top of Sora’s head, then made their older brother buy him a new bow.

The rest of the afternoon passed by slowly for Asahi. He thankful for his large family because it meant he could slide into the background and no one really noticed. By the time three in the afternoon rolled around, Asahi was ready for a serious nap. He kissed his mother on the top of her head before making his way up to his room.

Asahi was not expecting Noburu to follow him up the stairs, or stop him in the hallway.

“N-Noburu,” Asahi stuttered out, feeling his shoulders hunch forward in preparation for whatever Noburu had to say to him. Nothing good, judging from the stern look on his face. “How a-are you? Emiko showed me p-pictures of the girls, they are-”

“Lets not pretend you care anything about my daughters.” Noburu cut him off with a firm voice. Asahi flinched and opened his mouth to defend himself but Noburu took a step forward and shoved something into Asahi’s hand. Looking down, he saw it was a picture of a pretty woman with dark hair and eyes. She looked vaguely familiar. “This is Yui, she comes from a good family and is a nice girl. You will be her date to the wedding.” Asahi’s hands were shaking, he felt himself break out into a cold sweat as he stared down at the picture unseeingly.

“I don’t understand?” Masako’s voice came from behind Noburu and he turned to reveal the confused girl with Kaito standing directly behind her. “I thought Asahi was gay?” Asahi couldn’t look at her, and he definitely could not look at his younger brother.

“Please Masako, this is a family matter.” Noburu said, his words harsh but his tone soft.

“And in two days I’ll be apart of this family.” Masako placed her small hands on her hips, and the stance was achingly familiar to Asahi.

“I meant it is a matter between Asahi and I.” Noburu said, voice still soft.

“And apparently some girl named Yui, does she know Asahi is gay? That doesn’t seem very fair to her.” Masako said back.

“He is not g- he’s not like that, he’s just confused.” Noburu said, his voice showing frustration. Masako’s hands fell from her hips and she took a step forward before Kaito put his hand on her shoulder.

“Kaito-” Masako looked up at her fiance, looking hurt.

“The only one shaming our family is you, Noburu.” Kaito said, his voice flat and Asahi watched their old brothers shoulders tense. Noburu didn’t have time to reply because there was a soft, lilting voice from the stairs.

“What’s going on? Why is everyone standing in the hallway?” Emiko asked, and Noburu’s shoulders stiffened even further.

“Well-” Masako started off, her anger clear.

“Sorry for blocking the way Emiko, Noburu was just making sure everyone was settled properly.” Asahi spoke up, dodging Noburu’s eyes as his older brother turned back to him. Asahi shot Kaito a pleading look, to which his younger brother pressed his lips in a thin line but nodded. 

“We should head to your parents house Masako.” Kaito said softly, his hand sliding from her shoulder down to her arm.

“But Kaito-”

“Come.” Kaito and Masako stared at each other, communicating silently before Masako nodded stiffly, pulled her arm out of Kaito’s hold, and walked down the stairs. Emiko looked a bit confused but Kaito just patted her head softly as he passed.

“Excuse me, I’m just going to rest for a while.” Asahi bowed before walking into his room and closing the door as quietly as he could.

Asahi curled up on top of his bed wishing, not for the first time, that he had someone else's personality. Daichi’s calm, commanding personality or Suga’s more softer, teasing one. He even wished he was more like Hinata, who was part boisterous naivety and quiet intensity. Ennoshita, who accepted his flaws but instead of letting them define him, he morphed them into something wholly wonderful. He’d take either of Tanaka or Kageyama’s unwavering confidence, assured that even if they couldn’t do something right the first time, they’d damn well try until they got it perfectly.

Asahi thought of his small house by the sea, it was really more of a shack than anything. He had spent years working on it, doing most of the work himself and enjoying the quiet solitude of his new life, but he was fiercely lonely. Asahi might be horrendously shy and awkward, and enjoyed time to himself, but sometimes he went weeks without talking to anyone, and he missed the easy camaraderie of his teammates.


	2. Chapter Two

The sound of the door opening and a soft, low voice broke into Noya and Tanaka’s fight about who was cheating at what during their video games. They both turned, excited to see the one girl they both considered their little sister, but their excitement quickly turned into confusion as Masako turned the corner, saw them and made a beeline for Noya. She climbed over the back of the couch, which was thankfully low because Masako was so small. She curled herself around Noya as Kaito appeared in the doorway.

“I thought you knew better than to hurt her,” Tanaka’s uneasy voice come from behind Noya. Noya nodded his agreement before he realized that it seemed like Masako was comforting him instead of the other way around, judging by the hand that was softly rubbing his back. The same way she did when he came back from a tournament without even making it through the preliminaries.

“Sako?” Noya asked, pushing her gently away so he could look at her face. His suspicions were correct when he noticed she was giving him the most pitying eyes.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you had to deal with that from his family!” Masako blurted out and Kaito shifted awkwardly from his position still in the doorway. Kaito was extremely private, while Masako was- well, not.

“Masako, please, I just think it’s Noburu.” Kaito said quietly when he realized they would not be having this conversation in private. Noya only remembered Noburu as Asahi’s oldest brother, the stern-looking one who didn’t seem to like Noya, which was fine with him, he was quite aware that his personality rubbed some people the wrong way. At the time he had only really cared for Asahi’s approval. That turned out for shit.

“That’s one too many!” Masako cried, turning an angry glare at Kaito, her fingers were digging into Noya’s arms. Noya and Tanaka exchanged a confused look, and he was glad to know he wasn’t the only one who was lost. Two days back in Japan and it was already drama, drama, drama. “And you saw how awkward your father was with him! No wonder he never comes home, I wouldn’t either if I was him.” Noya sucked in a breath. He had thought they had been talking about Asahi, but now it was confirmed. Besides Asahi, Haruki and Noburu were the only ones who had jobs outside of Miyagi, but both returned home on a regular basis.

“What the hell is going on?” Noya was glad Tanaka asked, because he was still reeling from the fact that apparently the drama was about Asahi, and something his father and eldest brother had done against him. Noya felt the old instinct to protect Asahi flare up, but he shoved it down and beat it into submission to the back of his head.

“Noburu is a homophobic asshole!” Kaito visibly flinched, but didn’t try to defend his brother. “I can’t believe I liked him, I can’t believe I was planning on pranking Asahi at the wedding.” Everyone looked surprised at that, except Tanaka, who looked horribly suspicious. Noya would get back to that later.

“Masako, please-” Kaito tried but she cut him off.

“You were mad too! You knew something was up, how long have you known Noburu felt this way?” Masako was kneeling now, leaning over the back of the couch as Kaito took a step forward to her.

“Wait, start from the beginning, what happened?” Noya pulled Masako back towards him.

“Well we showed up and Papa Azumane was there with Noburu, and it was so awkward Yuu. Papa Azumane was more robotic than normal, Noburu wouldn’t even look at Asahi, and Asahi kept bowing and offering to make tea and acting more like a servant than a member of that family!” Kaito looked pained behind Masako, but he didn’t object to anything. Noya raised his eyebrows in shock because yes, Asahi was a bit stiff and formal with his family but Noya had thought they loved him. “Asahi walks off to his room and Noburu corners him in the hallway, and you know he knows what he’s doing is wrong because he makes sure to do with with no one else around! But Kaito followed, and I followed him and Noburu was telling Asahi he had to take this random girl to the wedding!”

“Asahi’s gay?” Tanaka said, more of a question though he knew that Asahi liked men.

“That’s what I said!” Masako shouted before giving Noya another pitying look, though Noya had no idea why. He hadn’t known that Asahi’s brother was homophobic, Asahi had never told him, and that hurt. Noya felt guilty, knowing that Asahi was always a private person and never wanted to be a bother to anyone, but Noya had thought they had been close at one point. The one person Asahi actually opened up to. Once again he had been completely wrong about Azumane Asahi.

“Then why the hell would he try and set him up with a woman?” Tanaka grumbled angrily, for a moment forgetting all the terrible things he had said about Noya once the older man had broken up with his best friend.

“Because Noburu thinks Asahi has shamed our family with his sexuality.” Kaito said softly. His eyes flickered to Noya before looking away, then the younger man stood up straighter and looked him face on. Asahi and Kaito didn’t really resemble each other. Kaito kept his hair short and tidy, his face along with his body was more on the long and angular side. There eyes were even a completely different shade of brown, but sometimes when Kaito pulled himself up like that, Noya was reminded of Asahi in his moments where he fully accepted his position as the team's ace. Strong and fierce.

“Kaito?” Noya asked, tilting his head to the side.

“When I was younger I overheard a conversation between Noburu and Asahi.” Kaito started off, his voice soft but no less powerful because of it. “Noburu was telling Asahi that by continuing on his relationship with you, he was not only endangering himself and our family, but you as well. He said no team would want a gay libero, and Asahi would be the ruin of you. At the time I couldn’t help but agree, it was practical even if it was harsh. A girl at my school- at our school-” Kaito looked at Masako and she gasped softly.

“She had her fingers broken after she was caught kissing another girl, the school kicked her out because she was there on a music scholarship, and she couldn’t play her violin anymore.” Masako looked like she wanted to go back in time, find the people who had hurt that girl, and throttle them. Masako was small, but she was fierce.

“It’s only now that I realize it wasn’t the first, or probably the last thing Noburu said to Asahi, but it was the one thing that affected Asahi the most.” Kaito looked pained. Noya didn’t blame him for any part of this. He had just been a kid, a moody teenager with plenty on his own plate.

“It finally makes sense,” Tanaka spoke up, attempting to look cool and like he understood everything. Noya kicked him in the stomach for good measure.

“None of this makes sense!” Noya yelled.

“I meant, the reason Asahi broke up with you.” Tanaka wheezed out while rubbing his stomach. “That wet blanket was never going to let you go, unless he thought he was going to ruin your life.”

“He said-” Noya grit his teeth, not wanting to bring this up. It was dead and buried, along with his feelings for the gentle giant. Wasn’t it? “He said he didn’t feel the same way about me as I felt for him, that it wasn’t fair to either of us to continue on. He apologized.” Noya spat out the last word, feeling like his heart was breaking all over again even though the event he was repeating had happened over six years ago.

“Which is just bullshit, anyone could see he’s been in love with you since you bounded up to him and said-” Tanaka jumped up and struck up an insulting pose, his voice high pitched and whispery. “Hello Asahi, my name is Nishinoya Yuu and I’m _your_ libero.”

“I did not say that!” Noya yelled but then thought it over. “Oh god, I did say that didn’t I? What the fuck was wrong with me?”

“You were staking your claim in front of everyone.” Tanaka said with a shit-eating grin. Noya tried to kick him but the taller man jumped out of his way.

“Yuu!” Noya jumped, almost forgetting that his sister and her fiance were still in the room as he and Tanaka wrestled on the floor.

“What?” Noya shoved himself to his feet.

“What are you going to do?” Masako asked, sounding exasperated.

“About what?”

“About Asahi, stupid!” Masako hurled a pillow at him but he easily caught it.

“Nothing?” Noya felt his heart rate picking up at the possibilities though. Obviously his feelings weren’t as dead and gone as he’d like them to be, but did this new information change anything? What if Asahi was telling the truth when he broke up with Noya? But the more Noya thought about it, the more unlikely it became because if Asahi had felt that way, he would have said anything but that to avoid hurting Noya. Time and distance, and the simple act of growing up had given Noya a completely different outlook on their break up.

Yet that was a problem too, because they had grown up. They weren’t the same people as they were in high school. Noya had travelled around the world playing volleyball on a national team. He had been the libero for the olympics, had helped that team win bronze. He had dated other people, been broken up and done the breaking up half a dozen times. He had even grown five centimeters since the last time he saw Asahi! Everything was different.

“Asahi will be going into town tomorrow to look for something to wear to the wedding.” Kaito spoke up, he was now leaning against the back of his couch, his fingers entwined with Masako’s. Masako hadn’t truly been angry at Kaito, and they were never ones to stay upset for long.

The real question; was Noya willing to risk his heart again?

\----

Noya wakes up at the crack of dawn every day anyways, that’s what he keeps telling himself as he scopes out the shopping district in town, purposely choosing a bookstore that has two stores that would even carry Asahi’s enormous size. He was up anyways, he woke up to run even before the sun had fully risen, back home, showered, then ate. His parents had work, his little brother had school, and his sister wouldn’t be awake until at least noon. He couldn’t even bother Tanaka, because after he left Noya’s house he had gone home and had to work the late night shift at his fathers store, because his father had been there already for 14 hours.

So it was only logical he would come to the shopping district, even though there’s a closer one to his own home, and this one is suspiciously the one closer to the Azumane household. He liked this little bookstore, even if he had several lazy Saturday mornings worth of memories with Asahi in the store. Asahi loved anything biographical, while Noya preferred science fiction. They had always wandered to their own sections when they walked into the store, before Noya eventually made his slow way back to Asahi. Missing the older mans soft, comforting presence. He would purposely stand a little closer than necessary, brushing his arm or his hip or leg against Asahi, watching the resulting blush spread across the older boys face and causing Noya’s heart to pick up his beat. Noya would grab random books, asking Asahi’s opinion, hardly listening to the words so much as the sound of Asahi’s voice. Just as soft as his personality, but strong and deep, humming beneath Noya’s skin and making him feel warm no matter the season.

It’s not as if Noya had pathetically sulked over Asahi for the past 6 years. In his third year of high school he had been asked to represent Japan’s under 19 division, he had only been the reserve libero, but he had ended up playing quite a lot because the starter was only 16 and hadn’t yet built up the stamina to be able to play two full sets with world renowned volleyball players. He was asked back again during his first year of college, where he was on a sports scholarship to the same school as Bokutou Koutarou. He graduated after four years with a degree in sports medicine, he never stopped playing or training for volleyball, and he had travelled all over the world, ending up playing in the Olympics just last year.

Noya hadn’t had much time to date, but he had dated. His first girlfriend at university after the unfortunate events of one Azumane Asahi in the middle of his third year in high school, lasted nearly 9 months. He had dated sporadically after her, sleeping with a handful of people, until he met his third serious relationship with another guy on his team. They had kept it secret for over half a year, and Noya had thought it was because the guy was private. Turned out he was just sleeping with two other guys on the team.

At least Asahi had never cheated on him. Actually just the thought of cheating on anyone probably broke Asahi out in hives.

Noya had somehow ended up back in the biography section. He pulled out the book about the famous photographer, Asahi’s favorite, but sliding it back into place and walking swiftly out of the store.

“Noya!” Noya barely had time to brace himself as a happy orange blur barrelled into him and caught him in a hug that cracked several of Noya’s vertebrae. “Ah- that wasn’t a good sound.” Hinata put him down slowly and gave him a sheepish grin that turned vibrant when Noya smiled back at him. Besides Tanaka, and on occasion Suga, Hinata was the only one from Karasuno that Noya kept in constant contact with. “You’re back for your sister's wedding, right?” Hinata asked, and of course he remembered something that Noya had texted him several weeks prior.

“Yeah, rehearsals tomorrow, and the wedding is the next day but they are signing all the official documents tomorrow.” Noya nudged Hinata into following him, making his way over to the cafe down the way. Hinata was a fully grown adult, even taller than Noya now, but Noya would always think of him as his innocent little underclassmen, his favorite one if he was being honest, and he always treated to Hinata whenever they got together.

“That’s so cool!” Hinata no longer jumped all over the place, but that was probably more to do with his knee injury than his age or enthusiasm. Noya always cringed, mentally, when he was reminded of Hinata’s injury. Hinata didn’t talk about it much, just shrugged it off with a smile, but from what Noya had gathered it was just a common sports injury that happened, if Hinata hadn’t been so reliant on jumping, hadn’t been so hard on his knees, then they probably would have lasted him a little longer, but he’d have eventually ended up in braces and surgery. Noya also guessed that Hinata had learned about the injuries sometime during his third year of high school, and had forgone surgery to play one last year with Karasuno.

The amazing thing was Hinata showed absolutely no sadness or bitterness over his sports career being cut short. Absolutely everything showed on Hinata’s face too, so if there was even a small amount of bitterness, it’d show all over Hinata’s expressive features.

“How’s everything going?” Noya asked, because he knew Hinata had finally managed to get himself a teaching degree. Due to his dismal grades, the surgeries, and the rehab after, it had taken Hinata longer to get into college and to graduate. Noya couldn’t be prouder of his underclassmen.

Hinata blew on his tea as they situated themselves at a booth by the window.

“Great! I finally got Ukai to accept me as vice-coach, though he refuses to call me that. Calls me a ballboy, which I keep telling him is a baseball term, but he just laughs and smacks me on the back, which still hurts.” Hinata rolls his shoulders as if he can still feel a phantom slap. Noya didn’t blame him. “I still get confused a lot for a student, last week I was on the third floor and another teacher yelled at me for being out of uniform. I got so nervous I couldn’t speak and she escorted me to the principal, who had to explain that I was a teacher for the first years, class one. I was late to my class because of it.” Hinata’s cheeks were dusted with pink but he was grinning good naturedly about it. Noya tried to contain his laughter but couldn’t help it. Hinata did still look young, even if he had cut his hair shorter, it was still a little wild and bright orange. His eyes were just as large as when he was in high school, and Noya imagined that if Hinata dressed in slacks and a tie, he’d look like a little kid trying on his dads clothing.

“I’m sorry Shou,” Noya wiped tears out of his eyes as he settled down.

“It’s fine.” Hinata waved it off as he fidgeted slightly. “Have you seen Asahi?” He asked, only hesitating a second before asking the loaded question.

“No yet.” Noya stared down at his own cup of tea before taking a couple large bites of his sandwich. He swallowed before he voiced something that had been on his mind for a while. “How did you know that you and Kageyama weren’t meant to be together?”

“Besides the fact that he’s aromantic and his affectionate nickname for me is dumbass?” Hinata grinned, but there was no malice in his tone. He must get asked that question a lot, because no one would ever dare ask Kageyama. “Even if he felt romantic attraction to other people, we still never would have worked. I know it’s hard for people to believe but we just didn’t, we never- there was no feelings like that involved with us.” Hinata shrugged, and Noya knew that was as best as Hinata could do. Hinata and Noya lived on an instinctual level, if Hinata’s instincts told him Kageyama wasn’t the one for him, than Hinata would listen without a thought.

“Then how the hell are you suppose to know those things?” Noya asked, more frustrated with himself than with anything else. He had a choice just to see Asahi at the wedding and let everything go. It would be a good size group of people, there was a large chance Noya could even actively avoid even running into Asahi. Then Asahi would go back up north to his fishing town, and Noya would continue on with his life and they would perhaps run into each other when their families cross paths.

But why did that thought make him so unbelievably sad?

“I-um, I might not have felt that way towards Kageyama, but it’s not- it doesn’t mean I haven’t felt that way for another person.” Hinata stuttered out before shoving half his muffin in his mouth, eyes darting everywhere but at Noya. Noya suddenly leaned forward and slid the plate with the remaining piece of Hinata’s muffin away from him.

“Spill.” Noya commanded and Hinata’s shoulders slumped.

“Do you remember Date Tech High?” Noya’s shoulders stiffened but he brushed it off because Hinata could apologize. Noya and Asahi’s fall out from the game against Date Tech was nearly a decade ago, he shouldn’t still feel stiff about it. “Oh, I shouldn’t have said anything, this was a bad idea. I’ll just be jumping off a cliff now.” Noya was laughing while pulling Hinata back down into his seat at his dramatics.

“Shouyou, just tell me.” Noya had put together that Hinata’s special someone was obviously from Date Tech, someone Noya knew. “Is it their libero? Libero’s are the best.” Noya asked, remembering the cute little libero who had asked Noya a billion questions after each practice game they had against Date Tech after the Spring Tournaments. “It’s not Koganegawa is it?” Hinata and the Date Tech setter had gotten along, but that was mostly because they were the same person. It was the same story about Lev from Nekoma.

“No, no. It’s not either of them.” Noya tried to rack his brain, bringing up practice matches and small bits of conversations spread out over the years. It was hard because Hinata got along with everyone, even Aone Takanobu, that terrifying middle blocker who had-

“Oh no.” Noya felt it click as Hinata’s face turned even redder. He was playing with his phone as Noya felt everything falling in place. Aone’s own teammates had commented about how well Aone liked Hinata, and their captain had been downright smirking at the statement, but that guy had always been smirking. He was as much trouble as Kuroo from Nekoma, so Noya had ignored it, but obviously he knew something.

Hinata slid his phone over to Noya, a picture pulled up. Obviously someone else had taken the picture besides Hinata, who was sitting on one of those uncomfortable beds they have in doctors rooms, the ones with the god-awful tissue paper on it. More importantly was the other person in the picture, besides the Doctor in his white lab coat, with his back turned to Hinata and his companion. His companion who could be no other than Aone Takanobu, with those broad shoulders and terrifying height. One of those large, volleyball blocking hands were loosely wrapped under Hinata’s knee. The picture was taken from too far away to make out expressions, but Noya doubted there was anything but tenderness there.

“He was there during rehab?” Noya asked, feeling a stab of guilt because Noya had been overseas during Hinata’s rehabilitation.

“Yeah,” There was a soft smile on Hinata’s face, all earlier nervousness gone and Noya felt even more guilt. Clearly their relationship had gone on for a while, but Hinata had some misguided notion that Noya wouldn’t approve because nearly a decade ago Noya had nearly quit volleyball after a game against Date Tech. “He actually worked for the company that the doctors office bought all their supplies from.” Hinata had been in and out of surgeries and physical rehab for about two years, they had operated on his right knee and waited for that to heal before operating on his left knee, which hadn’t sustained as much damage as his dominant right one.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Noya asked as he flipped to the next picture, clearly taken by Hinata. Noya was partially embarrassed to see a shirtless Aone sleeping on a threadbare couch, a quilt covering his legs, and a fat, gray cat sitting on his chest and looking quite pleased with itself. “I don’t blame him for what happened with Asahi and I, he was just being a middle blocker. Though I don’t appreciate the whole pointing at aces before their matches, singling them out.”

“Yeah, we talked about that, he thought it was flattering? To say that he acknowledged them as the ace and knew the threat they posed against him, as a middle blocker.” Hinata explained with a laugh as he waved his hand. “I told him no one takes it that way, he seemed genuinely upset about it.” Noya wasn’t sure about that, in the two years Noya knew him he hadn’t seen Aone show much emotion.

“How long have you-” Noya’s question was cut off as he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned his head and swallowed thickly as he saw the person he had come to the shopping district to see, but had no idea how to react to the man.

The man with the fond look on his face, his eyes on Hinata before glancing Noya’s way before his face paled at being caught staring. The horrible look of shock nor the pale parlor could distract away from the fact that the added years had been kind to Asahi. Actually more than kind, downright unfair in Noya’s opinion. Noya hated the fact that he knew Asahi had grown even taller, even if it was one or two centimeters. Asahi had fully grown into his strong features, his jaw and nose cutting sharp contrast across an unbearably handsome face. He was darker than the last time Noya saw him, which seemed like an obvious thing to notice, he worked in the sun after all. His hair and the tip of his ears were hidden underneath a gray beanie that looked homemade and somehow made Asahi look more approachable. His breath of his shoulders and the stregth of his entire body was not masked at all by a light gray sweater, and long dark washed jeans that had a hole in the left knee and seemed to curve perfectly around the muscle of his thighs.

Noya was in trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a newfound obsession with Hinata and Aone and it's stressing me out. Are there stories about them? I don't know because I made myself write the rest of this chapter before I was allowed to search for it!
> 
> Sorry about it not being edited, I try to reread through my stuff and my eyes glaze over. Hopefully you enjoyed this and your eyes did not glaze over.


	3. Chapter Three

Shopping with Sora and Haruki was a horrible idea. They were too loud, too impulsive, and- well, truthfully they wouldn’t have allowed Asahi to go on his own. They had noticed the tension Kaito brought with him when he came home last night, had probably tried to squeeze the information out of him after everyone had separated to their own bedrooms. Asahi would have broke under Haruki and Sora’s questioning, the same easy way he had let them come to the shopping district with him even though he knew it’d take twice as long if it was just him, but Kaito had a spine of steel. If Asahi didn’t want Kaito to talk about what had happened with Noburu, then Kaito simply wouldn’t talk about it.

“Candy!” Sora shouted happily.

“Score.” Haruki said with feeling. Candy wasn’t really a prominent thing in the Azumane household. Anything even slightly unhealthy actually wasn’t allowed in their house, though it was stashed away in hollowed out books and loose floorboards.

“Hold this!” Sora shoved his bags, all impulsive buys that had nothing to do with the wedding, before bounding off into the candy shop. Haruki shot Asahi an apologetic smile before he followed his younger brother.

Asahi thought this might be his only chance to get away and actually find some nice clothes for the wedding, plus a wedding gift but he stayed in place. It would be nice to be able to leave the shopping district before dinner time, but he couldn’t sneak off without his brothers. He wasn’t built that way.

There was a nice looking cafe next to the candy shop, and his brothers were likely to be in there for a while. They, mostly Sora, had dragged him out of the house before he had even had breakfast and it was nearing lunchtime now. Grabbing some bread and a coffee would only take a moment. Asahi took a couple steps towards the cafe, his eyes sweeping across the large front window and the couple of people he could see inside. The line was only two people deep, there was a small group of teenage looking girls already seated at a table and at another was Hinata-

Asahi stopped then immediately moved out of the way with an apology when the person behind him bumped into him from behind. The person looked up from their phone, looking angry before he had to look up, and further up to meet Asahi’s eyes, before scattering off. Asahi let out a slow breath, sometimes people still got the wrong idea about him even though he had his long hair covered and his mother had made him shave off his beard that morning in preparation for the wedding. 

Asahi’s attention went back to the cafe, quickly finding the bright head of orange hair and he could feel a smile already stretching across his face. He hadn’t seen Hinata in years, but the boy- well now he was a man, had been emailing him long updates the first week of every month. Hinata was the only one from Karasuno who still contacted him. Asahi’s train of thought ended when he saw exactly who Hinata was sitting down with.

It was the one person Asahi had been equal parts dreading and wanting to see since he got back. Actually for years if he was being honest. Nishinoya Yuu looked happy, a smile curving his lips upwards and he watched Hinata before looking down at a phone before looking up at Hinata in shock. There was too much glare on the window to properly see Noya, so Asahi stepped a little closer and instantly regretted his decision as Noya caught the motion and looked up.

Run was an instinctive thought, but it was quickly pushed away. Confrontations with Noya had never been particularly good for Asahi’s health or nerves, but even if Noya decided to yell or punch him, Asahi would have remained where he was because he wanted to be near Noya again. It was pathetic, he knew it, and yet he wouldn’t fight the feeling.

Noya pushed himself to a standing position, saying something to Hinata who looked out the window before catching sight of Asahi. He waved enthusiastically, and Asahi managed a small wave of his own, feeling a pang in his chest, something soft and grateful towards the younger man who had always treated him with respect and awe, even though Asahi never felt he really deserved that. Hinata had always been one of the rare few people who had never told Asahi to speak up, to stand up for himself, to act more like the ace, or stop acting so nervous and soft hearted.

All thoughts of Hinata ended as Noya swung out the door from the cafe, barely managing to dodge a group of teenagers, before making the quick jog over to Asahi. He was taller, it was the first thought Asahi thought, though it was a silly thing to notice because it couldn’t have been more than a couple centimeters, and it shouldn’t have been so noticeable because his radical hairdo was surprisingly missing. His hair was completely black, done in an undercut style with the top a little loose and wavy, as if he had showered recently and hadn’t had time to style it. It looked amazingly soft.

Noya was wearing a shirt with two thumbs on it, written in bold was ‘This Guy thinks You’re Awesome’, and over it was an army green jacket. His face was still too angular to be called handsome or pretty, but with the large carmel eyes and the usually friendly smile he had always been good looking. Attractive in a way that meant Asahi hadn’t been about to meet his eyes when they first met.

Noya opened his mouth, his hands shoved deep in his jacket pockets as he rocked back on his heels. Asahi tried to swallow, his throat suddenly completely dry as he waited for whatever Noya was going to say.

“Asahi you little shit!” Asahi jumped before realizing the yell was coming from behind him. Sora was looking for his brother, disgruntled and with a sucker hanging out of his mouth.

“Sora, there are little ones around.” Haruki scolded, but it lost some of it’s tone because he was happily munching on sour gummy worms.

“Where the fuc-dge, fudge, did he go?” Sora grumbled before stealing a gummy worm, earning a kick from Haruki, who smiled at a pretty women who passed by, giggling as she ducked her head towards her friend.

“They haven’t changed.” Asahi jumped again, turning back towards Noya and feeling like he had aged 10 years in the past couple minutes.

“Oh.” It wasn’t what Asahi meant to say. He had meant to apologize for his brothers or mention Noya’s growth because it would have pleased teenage Noya, but instead he had said ‘oh’ and wasn’t even looking at Noya because something right behind him had caught his attention. Noya turned and then let out a happy little laugh.

“Yeah I just learned about that.” Noya hummed, bouncing on the balls of his feet before it looked like he physically had to stop himself.

“Hinata told me a while ago, but I’ve never- I could never picture it.” Asahi was surprised into saying as he watched Hinata Shouyou greet Aone Takanobu outside of the cafe. People scattered around Aone, giving him a wide berth of space, some even shooting Hinata pitying looks as if Aone was about to steal his wallet. Hinata had mentioned, several times, his growing relationship with Aone, but it was still shocking to see in person.

“They are kind of adorable together.” Noya mentioned, sounding a bit miffed and like he was a moment away from going over to protect his underclassman. Aone was bent over a little, and he motioned with one hand. Hinata tilted his head and lifted his leg, bending his knee slowly before looking up at Aone with a beaming smile. Aone’s features didn’t change as he nodded, but Asahi got the feeling that the taller man had softened somehow. “Maybe Shouyou just looks adorable with everyone. Shouyou and Kageyama-”

“Hinata and Yachi.” Asahi said easily back.

“Shouyou and Kuroo.” Asahi shivered at the name, but couldn’t help but think they would look adorable together.

“Hinata and Bokuto.” Noya let out a surprised laugh, grinning up at Asahi in a way that felt like a punch in the gut for its familiarity, before he looked back over at Hinata and Aone, who was showing an excited looking Hinata what was in his bags.

“Shouyou and Oikawa.” Asahi choked a little before letting out his own laugh. “So it must be Shouyou who just fits with anyone because the Grand King is an obnoxious mess.” Asahi nodded in agreement. Suddenly Hinata and Aone were looking over at them, Hinata assessing the situation with that uncanny intense look he use to get when anyone questioned volleyball around him. Aone bowed politely, to which Noya and Asahi automatically returned though Noya was stifling his laughter. Hinata, done with his assessment, nodded once and then waved before walking off with Aone happily, talking with wide motions as the taller man nodded back.

“Azumane.” Asahi stiffened at the formal name. Noya never called him Azumane, not from the moment they met and he declared, loudly and in front of the entire team and his fellow first years, that he was Asahi’s libero.

“Stop pushing me, I want to hear what they are saying.” Asahi’s attention was once again pulled away from Noya and towards his brothers. They were a lot closer now, Haruki was trying to pull Sora away by the back of his jacket as Sora attempted to fight his way out of the offending piece of clothing.

“Leave Asahi be, for once- oh.” Haruki, noticing that they now had Asahi and Noya’s attention, released Sora, which caused him to go flying into a bread cart, nearly causing the whole thing to topple over. Sora and Haruki were left bowing and apologizing as Asahi covered his face in embarrassment.

“Asahi!” Asahi’s attention snapped back to Noya, who’s fists were tightly balled up and anchored on his hips, a stance Asahi had known all too well. “Can we go somewhere to talk?” Noya asked, sounding like he had to stop himself from demanding Asahi come with him so they could talk.

“Are you hungry?” Asahi asked, slightly embarrassed how quiet his voice was so he cleared his throat and attempted to stand up a little taller, not knowing when he tried to fold up in on himself. “There’s a good ramen place nearby.” Asahi said a little clearer. Asahi turned, to wave off his brothers, but surprisingly it was Haruki who stepped forward, frowning, and Sora who stopped him and waved Asahi off.

“You’re paying.” Noya commanded before walking off, despite not knowing where they were going. Except he did know where the ramen place was because Asahi had met him there several times, before and after they started dating. Asahi was regretting his choices as Noya made his way back to their usual booth, a small one nestled into the corner. By the tense line of Noya’s shoulders he clearly remembered this place too.

“I’m sorry about my brothers,” Asahi apologized once they had given their orders to the waiter. Noya waved his apology off.

“Please, like I’ve never knocked over a food cart.” A bit of Noya’s regular spirit peaked out as he grinned.

“Yes, but they are nearly 30.” Asahi sighed. He had heard from other people that Haruki and Sora act like responsible, upstanding citizens when they aren’t together. Asahi found that very unlikely, but he’s never seen them separate either.

“So are you old man.” Noya grinned, fully this time.

“I’m only 26!” Asahi sputtered out, fingers going up automatically to check to see if his hairline was receding, but he had forgotten he had put on a beanie today, shoving his hair in it.

“I’ve never seen you in a hat, looks good.” Noya mumbled the last part, sounding slightly displeased with it even as Asahi felt warmed by the words, no matter how grudging they came. “You said you already knew Shouyou and Aone were dating?” Noya asked, quickly switching subjects.

“Yes, Hinata told me in his emails.” Asahi thanked the waiter when he placed their food in front of them before seeing the look on Noya’s face that clearly meant he needed an explanation. “Oh sorry! Hinata has been emailing me for a couple years now, ever since his surgery I think, he said he had too much time to sit around and do nothing.” Asahi would always get excited near the beginning of the month, travelling into town to check his email since he had no internet at his house. Hinata’s emails were exactly how Hinata spoke, freeform and jumbled, one thought or sentence suddenly ending as he tumbled into the next idea.

“I didn’t know that,” Noya said slowly before starting in on his ramen. Asahi’s leg jiggled nervously, he didn’t want Noya to feel bad, though why he would Asahi wasn’t sure.

“He tried to call me, but reception where I live is spotty at best. After a couple sad-sounding voicemails I set up an email so he could use that instead.” It worked with his mother too, who would always start to worry whenever Asahi didn’t answer his phone. It didn’t help that Asahi kept losing his phone, he lost a couple in the ocean, some cracked on the deck, and so he stopped taking his phone out with him when he was on the job.

“Sad sounding voicemails?” Noya asked, grinning again and Asahi let out a soft breath in thanks for that. “What does he even write about?” Noya asked, sounding too casual, a little bit too calm.

“Himself, mostly. His sister and mother. The other Karasuno team members, he seems to keep in contact with the majority of them.” Asahi answered. Hinata was naive now as he was at 16, but he still somehow knew that Asahi had wanted most to hear about Noya, even if his , answered emails asked questions mostly regarding Daichi and Suga. He was glad to hear about his two former best friends, but it also caused a deep ache when Hinata knew more about them then he did. Hinata would spend large paragraphs recounting things about Noya without going into too much personal detail, never saying anything private that Noya may have mentioned to Hinata. “I usually answered back with pictures.”

“You still take pictures?” Noya asked, sounding surprised and thrilled.

“N-not professionally, o-or anything l-like that.” Asahi cursed himself for stuttering and took a long drink from his water to help calm his nerves. He had nearly forgotten that he had told Noya once that his dream was to travel, to write and photograph what he saw.

“That’s still great that you do that.” Noya’s hand twitched, like he was about to reach for Asahi before he curled it in a fist and placed it below the table. The warm feeling inside of Asahi fled with that motion. “I want to see some of them, do you have a site or anything?”

“No, no nothing like that.” Asahi’s shoulders slumped as he looked down at his empty bowl. “Congratulations, on the Olympics that is, but everything that led up to it too. What you did- what you accomplished, now that’s great.” Noya grinned, though it looked a little tight around the edges.

“It was a team effort.” Noya said, of course he did.

“You’ll start training again soon, right? Travelling?” Asahi asked, a little wistfully. His professional career of volleyball, if he had chosen to have one, probably would have ended in college. He just didn’t have the attitude of a true athlete, and that was fine. Asahi missed playing, wished his town in the north was big enough to have a neighborhood association, but he knew he hadn’t been sent up there to play volleyball. He had been sent up there to hide, so he wouldn’t shame their family further.

“Maybe.” Noya’s smile died, but before Asahi could apologize Noya was sitting up straighter and looking him dead in the eye. “I didn’t want to talk about volleyball Asahi.” He was grateful Noya wasn’t calling him Azumane, even though it looked like true anger was boiling up right beneath the surface. Knowing Noya, it wouldn’t be long until it had boiled over.

“I know.” Asahi looked down at the table. The way Asahi had broken up with Noya had been unforgivable, only knowing that Asahi was saving Noya’s future career had gotten him to say the awful things he had said. The awful lies he had told. Noya’s blank stare, his small nod and his disappearing frame as he walked away from Asahi still haunted the taller man.

“Masako and Kaito came over to my parents house last night, Masako was really upset.” Noya said, his voice shaking on the last word. Asahi’s shoulders slumped, feeling responsible for Masako’s upset before her wedding, she shouldn’t have to deal with anything like that before hand. He should have just agreed to take that women Noburu had presented him with as a date to the wedding.

“I’m sorry I upset her, I will apologize-”

“Asahi!” Noya shouted before lowering his voice, it was an angry hiss in Asahi’s ears. “From what Masako and Kaito told me, you are the last person who should be apologizing. Why didn’t you- I can’t believe- you never let on that your family had a problem with it.” It being Asahi’s sexuality.

“Most do not,” Asahi explained, but he wasn’t quite sure if that was true. “Noburu- he’s not a bad person.”

“Good people do not tell their own flesh and blood that they are a blight on their families names.” Noya ground out, causing Asahi to flinch. “Good people don’t even do that to people who aren’t their family! Damnit Asahi, stop- please just look at me. I’m not mad at you, I think you did what you thought you needed to do to be able to still stay in your family, am I right?” There was a breath stuck in Asahi’s chest, unwilling to be let out as he stared into Noya’s stern eyes. Somehow he knew, or suspected, that the way they broke up- the way Asahi had broken up with him was under false pretenses.

“How do you not hate me?” Asahi asked quietly, so softly he barely heard it.

“Whatever gave you the idea that I could hate you?” Noya asked back, nearly instantly. “Did you really have no feelings for me? Were you pretending to date me so I’d feel better?” Asahi paused but finally shook his head, unable to get any words out past the growing lump in his throat. “Even if those things were true, I couldn’t hate you for feeling the way you did. I am pissed though.” Noya stretched over and punched, with power, Asahi’s shoulder.

“What?” Asahi rubbed his shoulder, leaning back though he wasn’t sure when he had started to lean towards Noya.

“I’m pissed that you’re such an egoistic bastard who thought you could have any effect on my volleyball career! You have such a big ass head that you think you could really have ruined everything for me?” Noya gave a derisive snort, crossing his arms and looking like he wanted to punch Asahi again. “If you had just fucking talked to me we could have-” Noya bit his lip, hard.

“Could have what Yuu?” Asahi asked, the name slipping out without any sort of prethought.

“We could have spent the past six years together.” Noya said, no hesitancy or doubt visible in his tone or face. To Noya, it was clear that if Asahi really had feelings for Noya, they would have stayed together, despite everything. Despite Asahi’s disapproving family members, despite Noya going off to college in Tokyo, despite Asahi accepting the job in the north, despite Noya’s travels, despite Asahi’s long trips out to seas, despite Noya’s long work hours- despite everything.

In another universe Asahi imagined a version of himself who had come clean to Noya six years earlier, during the middle of Noya’s third year in high school. He thought about how mad Noya would have been, how he’d want to comfort Asahi’s oldest brother and father, defend his boyfriend, but ultimately comfort Asahi. Asahi thought of extra time they would have had, long night talks, maybe Noya would have visited Asahi in the north? Noya would love the small house, Asahi knew that much. Asahi could have spent all the money he had saved up on visiting Noya in Tokyo. They could have travelled together. They’d end up back in this same ramen place, both back in town for the wedding, but together this time, and Asahi could finally, finally confess to someone about how much Noburu’s hatred towards Asahi gutted him.

“Noburu and I had never been that close, it was always my father I had been worried about telling I was gay.” Asahi’s hands clenched into fists on top of the table as the words were wrenched out of him, like someone had finally cut out pieces of inflected flesh. It hurt, it hurt so badly, but he knew it’d heal. It’d never be the same, Asahi knew that, but finally he could start to heal. “I fell off my bike when Haruki and Sora were teaching me to ride, they kept trying to get me to go back on, but I was scared. Noburu came out and told them to knock it off, if I didn’t want to learn to ride a bike, then I wouldn’t. Walking was slower but it still got you places.”

Noya’s hands slid under the table, fingers tapping against his knee until Asahi dropped his hands so Noya could hold them, his fingers were strong, his palm warm. Tucked away in their dark, little corner no one could see or judge them. Asahi lowered his head to the table and let himself cry, silently, for the relationship lost with his brother. He let himself admit, for the first time, that he couldn’t- wouldn’t change for his brother, for anyone really.

Asahi would shave his beard for his mother, he’d move north to help out on a fishing boat for his father, he’d try to be more confident for Sora, he’d wear a matching pink tie for Haruki, he’d face his disapproving older brother for Kaito, but he couldn’t give Noburu the one thing he wanted. He couldn’t be straight for him, for anyone.

Asahi was beginning to believe that it was Noburu’s problem to deal with, not Asahi’s. Asahi hadn’t done anything wrong. Asahi voiced this to Noya once he got his tears under control.

“Do you think Shouyou deserves to be hated for loving Aone? Do you think-” Noya licked his lips, Asahi following the movement with his eyes, before he plowed on. “Do you think I’ve done something wrong for loving you?” Asahi’s mouth was dry again as he studied Noya’s face, looking for any signs of deceit or deception. Of course there was none, but apparently it was taking Asahi too long to reply because Noya rushed on. “Even Ryu’s a little gay.”

“For who?” Asahi asked, glad that the tension was gone as he used his sleeve to wipe the wetness off of his face. He wanted to hold Noya’s hands again but the waiter was coming back, and Asahi was handing over money before they were both standing, walking out of the ramen place.

“Chikara.” Noya answered, after hesitating a moment, wondering if he should tell Asahi this information or not.

“Ennoshita? Really? Since when?” Asahi asked, shocked at this new information.

“Since Chikara came back to town.” Noya thought for a second before deciding to explain the full situation. “Ryu didn’t go to college, he stayed home to help with his dad’s store. Of course Chikara went to college, kids a genius. Ryu and Chikara didn’t keep in contact, but Chikara came back about 7 or so months ago because his grandfather died, so he was helping his grandmother out because they run a shrine up on a mountain and her husband's death hit her really hard. Well Ryu found out and you know Ryu.”

“He went to help out.” Asahi said, without a doubt knowing what Tanaka would do even if Ennoshita hadn’t asked for help.

“He helped out at the shrine during the day, cleaning gutters, picking up leafs, dusting- whatever needed to be done. Then at night he’d work at the store, and Chikara started to bring him food, saying it was thanks for helping out. Ryu needed it, his so called girlfriend never would.” Noya was gritting his teeth, but from what Hinata had said in his emails, Tanaka didn’t have much luck in the love department. Hinata could never understand that, and clearly neither could Noya. “Which is just fucking bullshit, all the girls he dated never deserved him, but they all treated him like trash and thought they were better than him just because he never went to college and worked at a grocery store? What kind of shit is that? What does that have to do with anything?”

“Nothing.” Asahi said, because he knew it was what Noya wanted to hear, and he was trying hard to hide a smile because he had missed this. Missed Noya walking next to him, nearly vibrating with energy, defending Tanaka’s honor as always.

“Damn right nothing!” Noya shouted, making two old ladies jump and scowl at him but Noya, as usual, ignored the looks. “If they had taken two seconds to actually know anything about him, they’d know he was doing it to help his father because he’s a damn good son. He’s loyal and tall and he cares so much, cares about people who don’t even deserve him.” Noya was scowling heavily, like he was getting ready to track down all of Ryu’s old girlfriends and give them a scolding.

“I thought this was about Ennoshita?” Asahi asked, not able to keep the amusement out of his voice if the glare Noya shot at him was anything to go by.

“No, it’s about Ryu.” Noya corrected, and Asahi bit the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling, but he must not have done a good enough job because Noya bumped his shoulder against him. Asahi laughed as he stumbled a bit. Noya might be small, only coming up to Asahi’s shoulder, but he was solid, and years of olympic training meant that Asahi was most likely going to have bruises despite the fact that Noya clearly hadn’t even been using half his strength.

“So Ennoshita brings Tanaka late night meals.” Asahi smiles as he uses his fingertips to grab hold of Noya’s jacket, lightly pulling him out of the way of two women pushing baby strollers. Noya follows, his side brushing up against Asahi’s and Asahi can’t help but notice how much of a little furnace Noya is. Always has been.

“Chikara starts staying longer and longer, to the point where they are spending most of their waking hours together, right?” Noya hums, earlier anger at the mistreatment of his friend by his ex-girlfriends forgotten. “Ryu’s _girlfriend_ starts getting suspicious, like Ryu would ever cheat! Like Ryu would even know how to hurt someone he cares about. Bah, anyways, she gets suspicious and stalks Ryu, and Chikara, he’s really pretty, but he’s not a girl. So she confronts Ryu, while he’s working at the store! Who does that at someone's place of employment? And his dads shop, of course it’s going to get back to Ryu’s dad. Chikara comes in with food, and she starts laying in on him, which is just-”

“Stupid?” Asahi replies, because Ennoshita could be as scary as Daichi when he wanted to be, but Daichi would never talk bad to a girl. Ennoshita on the other hand, well he doesn’t care about gender if he thinks someone's being rude, he’ll tell them.

“Colossally stupid! I mean he looks like he’s half asleep most of the time, yeah, but there’s that look in his eye, that Captain look no matter if he isn’t technically a Captain anymore that says he’s giving you one chance and one chance only to apologize and make up for your rudeness.” Noya is smiling, but it’s not a very nice smile. He’s walking close to Asahi now, his eagerness to tell this story making him momentarily forget that despite what happened in the ramen place, they still have a lot of issues to work through. Asahi couldn’t be happier to have his hand brush against the exposed part of Noya’s wrist. “But she just keeps digging into Chikara, and Ryu snaps.”

“Tanaka snaps?” Asahi asks, surprised.

“Oh yeah, but I mean, it’s still Ryu, and it’s still a girl he likes, so it’s not like he yelled or threatened her. He just told her not to speak to Chikara that way, that her problems were between Ryu and her, and that if she wanted to talk about it, then he would talk about it tomorrow, and not while he’s working. She stomps off, and Chikara hugs him.” Noya sounds so proud of his former classmates. “Chikara doesn’t do that sort of thing, but he hugs Ryu and it’s like a lightbulb goes off in Ryus head, or maybe more like a boner pops in his shorts-”

“Nishinoya!” Asahi yells, glancing around to make sure no one heard as Noya laughs loudly beside him.

“I knew that’d get you.” Noya wipes tears out of his eyes before continuing as if nothing happened. “But he realizes he might just be a little gay for Chikara, and he calls me, because I guess I’m his gay yoda? He panicked pretty badly, but not because he thought he might be gay, I guess he forgot bisexuality was a thing that happens, like a little light pops up on a map somewhere and people with guns show up, demanding to make him choose between women or men, which is so difficult because he might be a little in love with Chikara, but he also loves women, and how is he suppose to choose?”

“So you told him he didn’t have to choose?” Asahi asked, smiling as he imagines the alternative universe version of them, the ones who never broke up, how Noya would have told him this story right after it happened.

“Right, of course, I told him that- eventually. But I made him first do a bunch of tests to try and figure out if he liked men or women.” Noya said matter-of-factly, shooting a grin up at Asahi.

“Noya,” Asahi said, part horrified, part amused.

“I know, he caught on eventually and I told him that love and attraction doesn’t really understand genders, and then I told him about my theory that everyone in the world is a little bit gay, and Ryu is open minded enough to admit that he’s just a little bit gay for Chikara.” Noya, pushed himself closer as a couple men in business suits took up the majority of the walk way.

“And how did Chikara react?” Asahi had to ask, no doubt in his mind that Tanaka of all people could keep those sort of feelings to himself.

“He did not agree with my theory, which is absurd, it’s a sound theory, I have empirical evidence to back it up!” Noya nearly shouted, but clearly knew that wasn’t the question Asahi had been asking. “He was hesitant at first. Apparently his first college experience, was more a ‘am I gay’ experiment that Chikara had not been made aware of until after he had developed kind of serious feelings for the other guy who, in turn, figured that he did not want to be gay, that he was just curious.” Noya did not sound happy about that, and Asahi couldn’t even imagine that being a thing.

“But you said he was hesitant at first? As in, there’s a next part after that?” Asahi asked, hoping there’s a happy ending for the other two Karasuno players, even if Asahi hadn’t spoken to either in years. Sounds like they both could use a bit of a happy ending.

“Ryu’s kind of stubborn, like- all the time, and it took a month before Chikara remembered that. Remembered that Ryu never has half assed anything in his life, would never hurt someone he cared about by entering in an experiment-type relationship. It’s been almost a month now.” Noya sounded absurdly happy.

“That’s good for them,” Asahi said, the words mild but his tone anything but. “I really hope it works out for them.” They both spotted Asahi’s brothers sitting on a bench a couple yards in front of them. Noya stopped and stood in front of Asahi, making the taller man stop or risk running over the other man.

“I’ll see you at the rehearsal tomorrow, right?” Noya asked, sounding unsure, making Asahi aware that even though he had said he hadn’t meant the things he had said during their break up, it was still going to take time for Noya to gain confidence back in them, back in Asahi.

“And at the wedding.” Asahi said with a firm nod.

“We’ll talk tomorrow?” Noya swallowed, shifting from foot to foot before blurting out something Asahi nearly didn’t catch. “No one will be at my house tomorrow, they’ll be staying at the hotel for the wedding. Would you come back with me? To talk, when no one else is around?” Noya knew how awkward Asahi felt in public, having private conversations in public made him want to melt into the ground, he was thankful for Noya. Yet the thought of having an entire house to themselves, a house that they had spent a lot of time in when they were younger, sometimes not innocent moments stolen during the short periods no one was home, made Asahi’s throat tighten.

“Yes, of course.” Asahi answered, voice quiet. They would talk later, but he knew he had to say something now, to ease the frown that was marrying Noya’s face. “I want it to work out for us too.” The crease between Noya’s eye brows disappeared, and he gave a shy smile up at Asahi.

“Good, that’s- that’s a good start.” Noya’s smile widened, he glanced around before leaning up, kissing Asahi on the cheek before disappearing without another word.

Asahi felt his face turn red, his hand pressing against his cheek like it was the first time he had received a kiss there. He looked over to his brothers, who were watching him. There was no joking around now, no pushing or shoving, they didn’t even have their candy out. For once they looked like tall, broad shouldered men in their late 20’s.

“He won a bronze medal in the olympics.” Sora said as soon as Asahi was in talking distance, as if Asahi didn’t already know this information. As if he didn’t force down his nervousness to sit in a rowdy pub and watch the matches on the tv there. “Nishinoya is awesome, I mean he was pretty great when you guys dated the first time, but he’s like leagues above your level so you hold onto that.”

“Sora,” Haruki said, sounding annoyed, but for once Sora wasn’t being abrasive or pushy. Asahi agreed Noya could do better than him, but he was going to make sure Noya was never aware of that.

“Are you okay Haruki?” Asahi asked, hesitant.

“Ignore him, he’s being a bit of a homophobe and it’s not a great look on him.” Sora’s voice was a little hard, and Asahi noticed for the first time there was a lot of space between them on the bench.

“I-I’m sorry Haruki, I didn’t- I thought- I’m so sorry.” Asahi rushed out. He had finally accepted after seven years that Noburu was never going to love him like a brother again, but he wasn’t prepared at all to lose Haruki. Asahi had thought Haruki had been okay with it, worried but that was sensible.

“Hey, hey breath in, and then out. Come on Asahi, it’s okay.” Sora was rubbing his back, calming him down from a full blown on panic attack. It had been awhile since Asahi had one of those, he had forgotten how terrifying they were.

“I’m sorry Haruki,” Asahi wheezed out, feeling like there wasn’t even oxygen, even though they were outside. Black lines swam into his vision, it felt like someone was squeezing his lungs.

“Asahi, please don’t apologize, I’m the one who’s sorry.” Haruki said quickly, patting Asahi’s shoulders.

“Ignore Haruki, he’s an idiot. He just worries about you, doesn’t seem to understand it’s not a lifestyle or a choice, it’s not like how you choose to keep your hair that stupid lenght or how you choose to be anxious all the time-”

“Sora, he doesn’t choose to have anxiety, that’s so stupid.”

“Then why the fuck would you think he can choose to be gay?” Sora ground out and Asahi was even more mortified because they were talking about this in public. Fingers dug into his arm, and he wasn’t even sure if they were Sora’s or Haruki’s, but it was Haruki’s face that floated into his vision.

“I’m sorry Asahi, I’m sorry. I know you would never choose to make your life harder, and I know Nishinoya Yuu makes you happy, you looked happier walking with him then I’ve seen you in a while, but I’m- god, I’m fucking terrified. Sora and I, we looked it up after you had told us, and there’s all these horror stories. I know that’s what the internet is for, terrible news and porn, but the things they do to people like-” Haruki was shaking his head. “You’re my baby brother, I want you happy, but most of all I want you safe.” Asahi felt better, felt happy that his brother didn’t hate him for his sexuality. He felt lighter than he had in years.

He let his brothers lead him away to actually go find clothes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who is totally pumped for the new season of Haikyuu!!


	4. Chapter Four

The door shuts behind Asahi with a soft ‘snick’ sound, and a softer ‘sorry for the intrusion’ from Asahi. He looks as worn as Noya feels, tired and slumped over, face pale when just a couple hours ago he had been smiling at Noya when he saw the younger man enter the room. A secretive twist of his lips, his eyes lighting up and a small wave that wouldn’t cause any attention to be drawn to Noya. Noya had almost had to step outside and take a breather because how could one person affect him so deeply?

But that momentary happiness had seeped out of them after hours of the rehearsal, which should have been a good, fun moment. Noya liked Asahi’s two older brothers, Haruki and Sora, though he couldn’t really tell them apart, they were loud and fun to be around. Kaito got along well with Noya’s younger brother, who was still a teenager and clearly felt awkward and out of place at the two family gatherings. Masako got along with everyone, of course. Noya’s parents had been on their best behavior, keeping the embarrassing love-y stories that had often ended with them breaking some sort of law in their youth to a minimum.

Noya couldn’t help but notice the stiffness with which Asahi’s father handled his son. The man was stern, traditional in a way that made Noya skirt around him, but there was still a certain give in him whenever he spoke to his children, or to his own wife, a give that just wasn’t there when he talked to Asahi. A give that Asahi clearly noticed if his stiff spine and straight shoulders were anything to go by whenever his father talked to him.

That could have been excusable in itself, Noya would have let that drop if it weren’t also for Noburu. Noburu who treated his brother with a quiet disdain no one else, besides maybe Masako and Kaito, seemed to notice. Of course sweet, soft-hearted Asahi would never say anything about it, would never want Noya to defend him from his own brother, but it sure as hell didn’t stop Noya from feeling on edge all night.

When Noya had begun to represent Japan on a national scale, their team's manager had hired a couple people to talk to the team. Mostly how they were representing the entire country to the world and how they were expected to behave, because there are certainly a long line of people who could replace any of them. Noya, impulsive and loud, had found this talk exceedingly frightening, but he had learned to control his instincts. Especially when those instincts were to punch the eldest brother of the man his sister was going to marry for being a homophobic jackass.

“Everyone looks so serious.” Asahi mumbled, causing Noya to turn around and backtrack down the hall where Asahi had stopped to stare at the team photo from the Olypmics. Noya hadn’t even realized his parents had that, and the more he looked at the walls, the more newer pictures he saw. Masako at her first concert, cello looking like it was twice as big as her. One of him and his younger brother helping him move into his new dorm during his second, or maybe third, year of college. A picture of Masako and Kaito that looked like it must be recent, they were in the Nishinoya kitchen, Masako with her head thrown back in laughter and a whisk in her hand, Kaito rubbing frosting from his cheek, a soft smile on his face. Then of course there were tons of pictures of Noya too, playing volleyball, holding his college diploma, all his volleyball team pictures starting from middle school all the way up until the Olympics.

“Our official pictures look pretty serious too.” Noya pointed out the Karasuno ones, the people in the front seated in chairs with a small line behind them standing. Everyone with matching stern faces. Of course Noya had the unofficial pictures too, the one with Uka shouting, Takeda making nervous hand motions, Kikyo shielding little Yachi behind her back. Noya, Ryu, and Shouyou flexing and posing, Kageyama grabbing onto Shouyou’s uniform, looking angry. Daichi with that blank, scary smile he got whenever he was about to yell, Suga trying to pacify everyone. Asahi looking panicked and stressed, Tsukishima looking bored, Yamaguchi laughing. Ennoshita looking as sleepy as ever while Narita is whispering something in Kinoshita’s ear, something that’s making the other boy laugh and blush at the same time.

“That’s what people said when they first saw us too.” Asahi had a small smile on his face now. It wasn’t the full fledged happy version he had shined on Noya at the beginning of the night, but it would do for now.

“Serious until Shouyou started to sing his bathroom song and Kageyama was yelling dumbass, stop singing and just go!” Both of them laughed. “Serious until Ryu would pick a fight with someone he thought was giving us the look-”

“Oh it was only Tanaka picking fights, was it?” Asahi asked, smile just a little wider now.

“I would never.” Noya stuck his nose up in the air, as if the idea of fighting was beneath him, before he starting making his way back to his room. “Unlike our supposed ace who was crushed when people accused him of being 30 and too old to play in a high school volleyball game.”

“Noya, I wasn’t 30 though!” Asahi complained from behind him as they walked up the stairs to the attic. Noya had given up his room and moved to the attic when Masako and their brother attempted to kill each other because they had to share a room. The attic was blistering hot during the summer, and freezing cold anytime else. It leaked whenever it rained or snowed, and there was always some type of fuzzy creature sharing the space with him, but it was home. It was home especially after spending so many months in temporary hotels, travelling from one place to the next.

“Karasuno, what we had there, I never felt it with any of my other teams.” Noya said, softly as he loosened his tie and turned to look at Asahi, to see what the other man thought of his words.

“Never?” Asahi asked, sounding skeptical.

“What we had, something close to what Nekoma had, it’s rare.” Noya explained. He was wearing one of his press tour suits, fitted perfectly for him and he had seen the look in Asahi’s eyes when he got the full picture, but now all Noya wanted to do was strip and crawl into bed. “It’s a team sport, but most people concentrate on themselves. Do you know Shouyou and I spent an extra hour after each evening practice working on his recieves during my third year? After a while the first year libero that was going to replace me when I graduated started showing up, then Yamaguchi, Kageyama of course came because he wouldn’t be outdone by Shouyou, until finally even Ukai stayed late just to help everyone because everyone knew losing Daichi and you put a huge dent in our defense.”

“I was never good at recieves, I couldn’t make them go back to the setter like you or Daichi.” Asahi said softly but Noya was already shaking his head.

“You got them up still, and really that’s all that matters because you gave us a chance when otherwise they would have scored.” Noya waved away Asahi’s excuses. “We had morning practice, and most of us practiced during lunch, and then evening practice. Then everyone willingly agrees to stay later just to work on receiving, and that was just the norm for our team. Stuff like that never happens in any of the teams I’ve been on since.”

“I understand.” Asahi said and Noya waits to see if the taller man actually does. “All the trophies and awards, the medals and the acolytes you got, were never important to you. You just wanted to be there to support your team, to have their backs, to buy your underclassmen meat buns when they called you a respective name, to keep that ball in play so we could score a point. The comradery was important. Losing only ever hurt you because it hurt those around you, because you thought it was some failure on your part that you couldn’t keep the rest of us happy.”

And now Noya hardly talked with anyone on the old team anymore. He had more medals than he knew what to do with, but at the end of the day it was Ryu or Shouyou he wanted to talk to, the rest of the team he wanted to go out to eat with but they were all spread across the country now. Kageyama was over in Spain playing volleyball, Yamaguchi was actually off in Canada according to Shouyou, and Noya missed them all terribly.

Noya missed Asahi so much it left a physical ache somewhere in his chest.

“Did you bring something to sleep in?” Noya asks, changing the subject because his chest and head feel too full with something but he’s not yet ready to name that something, let alone acknowledge it. Asahi turns red, as if mentioning pajamas was somehow taboo, but he raises the small bag he has, eyes averted.

Noya thinks Asahi’s brothers must have picked out his clothes. The slacks are black and fit him well, the button down shirt is a dark blue, but the tie is a matching pink all the Azumane boys had been wearing. He looks good, Asahi’s build means that he could practically wear anything and it’d still look nice, but it lacked the comfortable look that was the staple of Asahi’s clothes. Jeans just a little worn, sweaters just a little big, everything a bit wrinkled and well loved. Even his hair looks too tight, just a bit wrong on him.

“Great, because I don’t think anything of mine will fit you, though I guess you could wear something of my dads.” Noya grins, a little mean, because his dad is taller than Noya, not by much, but he’s a couple kilograms heavier. All his clothes are brightly colored with flashy designs on them. Asahi looks horrified.

“N-no, I should- I’ll be fine, thank you.” Asahi stutters, still trying to remain polite even though Noya’s father knows everyone thinks his wardrobe is ridiculous.

“I need to get out of this stupid suit.” Noya, with little warning, starts stripping, seeing how far he can get before Asahi realizes what’s happening. The tie and jacket are off, the buttons on his shirt are undone, and he is reaching for his belt before Asahi’s face turns completely red and he spins around. “Nothing you haven’t seen before.” Noya says in a light voice, though he can feel his own cheeks heat up.

Noya has long ago accepted the fact that he is great. He’s a good son and most of the time he’s a good brother. He’s an even better friend, and for a while, even though all his relationships had ended on bad notes, he was a great boyfriend. He’s loyal and enthusiastic, yes he can be a little impulsive and brash, but he’s always thought those are pretty great traits too. He’s always been confident in his personality.

Confident in his looks? Not so much. Noya knows that he’s short, though he still doesn’t like it pointed out to him. Especially now that he’s been on tv, everyone always telling him how they never thought he was so short, even though his height is always right there under his name and jersey number. Even after years of practices and working out, of running and gaining muscle, he knows he’s still on the lean side. He’s never minded much because he’s a libero, being short and small had always been a plus, but being short and small while also trying to be manly and attractive? Yeah, never seemed to work out for him. Everyone called him cute, adorable, and those weren’t really names he wanted associated with himself when he was trying to date someone.

No one ever called Asahi cute or adorable, which was wrong because the way he flushed all the way to the back of his neck and his ears was adorable, the way he fidgeted when he heard Noya’s pants hit the ground was cute. But Asahi was handsome, even hot when his nerves disappeared in rare moments of complete concentration. He was tall and built like he could snap a tree in half.

But the way Asahi looked at Noya sometimes, the way his his eyes darkened and he chewed on the corner of his bottom lip made Noya feel attractive. Not cute or adorable, certainly not too short or too skinny, but attractive.

Noya felt warm all over, even as he tried to tell himself that nothing was going to happen tonight, except maybe some serious cuddling for the big guy because he looked like he needed it after dealing with his family all night. So, instead of sleeping in his boxer-briefs like he usually did, he pulled on a shirt and some sleep shorts.

Talk, they needed to talk. Noya tried to remind himself, tried to tell himself not to pull Asahi down onto the futon so Noya could climb over him and map out every inch of skin he had been denied the past.

Talk, yeah, easier said than done.

“I’m dressed, you can stop averting your virgin eyes.” Noya teased, causing Asahi to sputter something indecipherable out as he turned around. “I’ll go get us something to drink so you can change and keep your innocence intact.” Noya grinned before making his way back downstairs to the kitchen.

Noya started boiling water before taking out his phone.

To: Ryu  
im weak

He got a reply back almost instantly.

From: Ryu  
stay strong bro!!!

To: Ryu  
will crumbling

From: Ryu  
dude he broke ur heart.  
i know his family is kind of shitty  
and he doesnt stick up for himself  
but he should have stuck up for u

It was harsh, but it was the truth. Asahi had left this horrible soft spot inside Noya, he had shattered his confidence and broke his heart. Asahi never had confidence in himself, but he had always believed in Noya, and learning that he didn’t have unbreakable faith in Noya badly shook him.

To: Ryu  
i dont know what to do

From: Ryu  
talk things out  
no hanky panky  
at least not yet  
or until i can talk with him

Noya made tea and some sandwiches. He didn’t want to admit he had noticed Asahi didn’t really get to eat anything, but he had.

From: Ryu  
if u think hes really sorry  
if u kno he will treat u right this time  
IF HE APOLOGIZES FIRST  
and if u wanna get back with him then do it

To: Ryu  
thank you, you’re the best, you’re the apple of my eye  
the stars in my sky  
the wind beneath my wings

Ryu sent a blushing emoticon followed by a picture of him and Chikara, clearly in Ryu’s fathers store. Chikara looks vaguely put out, but he’s smiling fondly, his eyes soft. Ryu looks ecstatic, eyes nearly closed with how wide he’s grinning.

“Noya?” Asahi asked hesitantly, and it really should be illegal for someone that large to be so quiet, but really it makes sense. Asahi has been walking on eggshells around his family for years.

“Grab the plates, I’ve got the mugs.” Noya ordered.

“Is it okay to eat in your room?” Asahi asked, making Noya laugh because somethings never change. “Noya I’m serious, stop laughing, I don’t want to get in trouble.”

“Asahi you’re 26 years old!” Noya settled down on the small rug with both cups of tea. Asahi sat down hesitantly in front of him, handing one of the plates to Noya. “Are you still afraid of my mother?”

“She threatened me, in detail.” Asahi said, sounding hushed as if saying so would summon his mother. Noya cackled as he finished off his sandwich in record time. Apparently he had forgotten to eaten because he had been so worried about Asahi. Noya missed that, he liked taking care of people, liked taking care of Asahi.

“Oh! Before I forget, I had my brother do something for you.” Noya jumped up and grabbed his laptop out of his bag before moving to sit next to Asahi. If he sat closer than was strictly necessary then, well, Asahi should be use to it. It’s not like Noya had even been subtle with his feelings.

“You had your brother do something for me?” Asahi asked, leaning closer to Noya and peering at the computer as Noya booted it up.

“Yeah, he’s pretty good with computers, with designs and stuff.” Noya explained as he brought up a web browser and clicked on his bookmarks, bringing up a webpage. “It’s empty right now, obviously because I didn’t have any of your pictures to fill it with but the domain is all yours. Look he made shortcuts so your profile goes here, and you can even add a picture of yourself if you want, and then this here is where all your pictures would go, and this one is kind of set up so you can blog or write articles, whatever you want to do.”

“You set up a website for me.” Asahi said slowly and Noya felt his face heating in embarrassment. Was it too presumptuous of him? Asahi had mentioned that he didn’t even have internet at his house, and his phone was just a simple flip phone, outdated and chunky.

“My brother did most of the work, he seemed pretty happy to, he really likes you and-” Noya’s nervous explanation was cut off as he was swallowed in a hug. It ended as abruptly as it had started, and Asahi’s face was a brilliant shade of red, but he was grinning at Noya’s computer.

“Nobody- no one has ever-” Asahi tried and stuttered to a stop for every thought as he clicked away on the bare website. It was clean-looking and minimal, professional and easy to use to Noya who didn’t know much about websites. “God Yuu, how did I ever think I could survive without you?” It was a soft mutter, but they were so close than Noya could still hear it. His heart pounded hard in his chest.

“Your family doesn’t support you in this?” Noya asked but Asahi was already shaking his head.

“I never told them.” Of course he didn’t because he wouldn’t want to seem like a burden, wouldn’t want to seem like he was ungrateful or a bother to his family. So he hid his dreams, his aspirations. Not from Noya though, he had told Noya easily, as if not telling him was never an option.

“Why didn’t you tell me what Noburu had said?” Noya asked softly, needing to know, needing to get this out in the open.

“Because I knew you’d fight it.” Asahi said, just as softly, but with conviction. Noya closed the laptop and turned his body to face Asahi, breaking off all physical contact with him.

“Damn right I would have because he was wrong.” Noya, even after all these years, still wasn’t good at controlling his anger, but it left almost as quickly as it had come. He had never been too good at holding onto anger either.

“But he wasn’t.” Asahi picked at a loose thread on his sweatpants. “Do you remember what happened to Yamaguchi?” A lot had happened to their former pinch server, but Noya knew Asahi was talking about the specific thing that had happened to Yamaguchi in his second year of high school, after the new first years had been introduced to the club.

“That was high school.” Noya tried to defend it, but Asahi shot him a disbelieving look. Some of the new first years had begun to question Yamaguchi, mostly his sexuality. Noya didn’t understand why they choose to target Yamaguchi, probably because kids are kind of assholes and Yamaguchi made the easiest target. Shouyou had always been surrounded by people, no one really ever messed with the ever scowling Kageyama, and Tsukishima might have been a beanpole but his apathetic nature would never allow for bullying. The noisy little first years had seen Yamaguchi practicing his floating jump serves with Shimada late into the night, had seen how proud the former Karasuno player had been of Yamaguchi, and twisted it into something ugly and perverted.

The rumors were not kind to Yamaguchi, or his supposed older lover Shimada. Sometimes kids are brilliant and amazing, but this was not one of those times. People turned on Yamaguchi, the other first years, fearing the ones who had started the rumors, shunned Yamaguchi in fear of being shunned themselves. It’s easier to go with the majority instead of against it, especially in high school.

It was actually Shouyou who was called into the principal's office for a fight with one of the first years. Chikara, as the new captain, had been called in to solve the problems between his own team. Shouyou had remained silent, no matter Chikara’s questions, even when the principal threatened a weeks suspension both from the team and school. He was suspended, and Yamaguchi came clean, telling Chikara and the other third years about the rumors and the bullying, how Shouyou had just been defending Yamaguchi.

Chikara had handled everything with a cold swiftness, telling the team that Yamaguchi was an important part of the team while the others had yet to earn their spot even as benchwarmers or reserves. That if they had a problem with that, they were free to leave, but Chikara would be watching carefully.

It hadn’t stopped the rumors, they were already out there, but things got a little better for Yamaguchi. Especially when the rumors about his supposedly illicit trysts with an older man were overtaken with rumors involving Shouyou being yakuza, his fight being blown up into unrealistic proportions instead of the single punch he had landed.

“Athletic careers don’t really handle gay athletes all that well.” Noya couldn’t argue with that. Being gay in general wasn’t exactly a walk in the park, though Noya personally hadn’t experienced any backlash from it, he had heard enough, seen enough to know that other people didn’t have it so lucky. Other people like Asahi.

“So fuck them, I could play volleyball anywhere.” Noya shrugged, easy, because he could play it anywhere. He could play it in the streets with a couple kids and be just as happy as he was in a stadium. He was grateful for his career, for the opportunities he’s had, he knows other people never even had the options to follow their love of volleyball. People like Shouyou or Oikawa, taken out by injuries before they can really show everyone what they can do.

“I didn’t want to ruin your dreams because I was aimless.” Asahi said, still speaking to the carpet. It was suddenly clear that this thing, this past argument that never happened, would never be settled between them because their opinions were just too different on it. Asahi saw it as him ruining Noya’s future, his life and his career. Noya saw it as Asahi taking away his options from him, only allowing him one path to follow. They were both being stubborn, and Noya had never been able to hold onto any negative emotions for too long. 

“And now? What do you want now?” Noya asked, because this question was far more important than anything else.

“You.” Noya nodded, fighting to not let the feelings inside of him coming bursting out because Asahi had given him a straight answer for once, no stuttering or nervous flutterings.

“Good, because that’s what I want too. Everything else can wait for morning.” Noya pulled him up, turned off the light and made his way to the futon, wiggling until he was buried beneath the warm blankets. After a moment's hesitation Asahi followed him under the covers, his big body slowly warming up the formerly cold and empty space.

“We really haven’t worked anything out.” Asahi mentioned, sounding unsure. Noya , hummed as he made his way over to Asahi, nudging his arm aside so he could fit himself to Asahi’s side. It wasn’t the most comfortable position, they really hadn’t been able to sleep much together when they were both teenagers and living at home, but the few times they had it had been Asahi using Noya’s chest as his personal pillow. In the morning they woke up together, Noya spread eagle without covers but taking up all the pillows, Asahi curled up in all the blankets and using Noya’s stomach as his pillow.

“Tomorrow.” Noya was surprised how quickly he was falling asleep. The past couple days had been wholly tiring, not to mention the ever growing worry that had been piling up since his sister had told him she was marrying an Azumane man, and they were having a fall wedding near his parents house. “We’ll work everything out tomorrow.” Noya already had a couple ideas, but they were fuzzy in his sleep addled mind. Asahi was so warm, and his heartbeat was a steady rhythm in Noya’s ear.

“Yeah?”

“Yes, now shh, sleep time.”

\----

Noya woke up to the smell of something delicious. The bed was empty but he didn’t panic. Mostly because he knew Asahi could cook, while no one in his family really could. Noya suspected his father feigned ignorance so he wouldn’t be stuck making all the meals, but it was a cold case, going on 20 years without any solid evidence.

Noya rolled out of bed, momentarily having to untangle himself from the blankets before grabbing his phone that was on his desk. Asahi must have put it there because Noya usually had to search for a couple couple minutes in his bedding for his phone every morning.

It was after 7, which was pretty late for Noya to be waking up. His body felt lethargic, and he wanted to crawl back into bed but first he had to go grab his personal pillow and heating blanket rolled into one convenient, attractive package.

Noya stretched and yawned as he made his way towards the kitchen, hearing the soft sounds emitting from it made his lips curve into a smile on their own. Now he definitely knew it was Asahi since his family was just as loud as him, even his awkward little brother was an adorable ball of angry curses early in the morning as his body seemed to find every corner and sharp edge in the house.

Noya stopped on the threshold to the kitchen, stricken speechless as he stared at the scene before him. It’s not as if Noya had never seen Asahi in the morning, they had spent several training camps together and Noya had always made sure his bed was next to Asahi’s. Noya had even managed to convince him to a couple sleepovers before he confessed to his parents they were dating and they put that to a stop.

But Noya had never seen adult Asahi in the morning. Hair loose, a little tangled but unforgivably soft looking. Clothes rumpled, the back of his tank top caught on the waistband of his sweats, giving Noya a perfect view of Asahi’s rather nice backside. Noya took out his phone and took a picture, first sending it to Ryu and then with a seconds hesitation, he sent it to a couple other people too.

“Morning.” Noya couldn’t even work up his usual morning cheer that had most people cringing. Asahi turned and gave him a shy, slightly sleepy smile. Asahi had never been much of a morning person, though he had always just been kind of cuddly and extra lovable as he was half asleep, not grumpy like Suga. Suga was scary in the mornings.

“Morning,” Asahi greeted back, his voice lower than usual, vibrating in Noya’s chest. Asahi turned back to the food he was preparing and Noya decided that cuddly morning Asahi wouldn’t mind being, well, cuddled. Noya made his way over, wrapping his arms around Asahi’s waist and burying his face in the middle of Asahi’s shoulder blades.

“Smells good.” Noya meant Asahi more than the food, though the food smelled good too.

“I hope your parents won’t be mad I used their food.” Asahi’s voice rumbled lowly in his chest, and Noya pressed his ear against his back to hear and feel his voice. Noya doubted his parents would even notice the food was gone. They had three kids, they were use to food being there one day and gone the next. “I know you like to run in the mornings, so I thought I’d make food now, we could go running and heat it up and eat when we get back. We have to be back by 10 if we don’t want anyone to miss us.” Asahi was absent-mindedly running his fingers over the Noya’s arms. Noya wasn’t even sure he had processed what Asahi had said.

Running.

Right.

“Think you can keep up with me old man?” Noya asked, but his voice wasn’t even teasing. Later he’ll probably be embarrassed how sickly sweet it comes out, more endearing than anything.

“No, but I don’t mind trying.” Asahi answered back honestly, Noya smiled against his back, squeezing him until Asahi let out a noise of distress. It was really unfair that it felt like squeezing a boulder, wasn’t an ounce of give on Asahi.

\----

Asahi was not out of shape, he could probably bench press twice the amount Noya could, be his endurance had always been for shit. Running was not his forte. He could put on a burst of speed, his long legs carrying him over a good distance quickly, but he ran out of steam easily.

Though it was kind of gross, Noya did not mind the way Asahi’s tank top had clung to his sweat-slick torso, he did not mind at all. Actually it had been downright distracting, almost verging on the obscene. Noya had to glare to stop a girl from taking a picture when Asahi had stopped, using the hem of his tank top and exposing centimeters of perfectly carved muscles as he wiped sweat off his face. Only Noya was allowed to take slightly voyeur pictures of Asahi.

They were on the train now, both showered and fed on their way back to their families. Asahi had to put on the clothes he had last night, minus the tie. Noya was wearing a snapback, turned backwards because he knew Masako would want to control how his hair looked. He had on a big hoodie, a nearly blinding bright yellow that he wore just to make Asahi cringe, and a pair of black joggers. His suit he’d change into for the wedding was with his parents already.

“You’re phone is buzzing again, you should check it, just incase someone needs something.” Asahi said, sounding hesitant and nervous. He had been getting increasingly anxious with every ignored buzz and Noya had enjoyed teasing him.

“Oh.” Noya said in surprised, nearly forgetting he had sent that picture of a sleepy Asahi making breakfast this morning. He really shouldn’t text when he wa half-asleep, or send pictures of his maybe-sort of-boyfriend to a good chunk of their old Karasuno team.

“Oh what? What happened? Did Masako get cold feet? Did Kaito do murder?” Asahi asked, nearly shaking Noya, who laughed.

“Nothing like that, I might have sent a picture to a couple people this morning.” Noya explained innocently as he scrolled through the various replies he had gotten back. He felt lighter than he had in years, as if there hadn’t been this huge gap of time that separated them all.

“A picture?” Asahi calmed down before stiffening up. “Of what?”

“You, making breakfast.” Noya looked up at Asahi, who looked like he couldn’t decide if he wanted to be horrified or pleased about the situation. The odd mixture of emotions settled on his face, causing Noya to laugh at the grimace-smile. “Daichi says he’s going to punch you for being in town without telling him. Suga says you’re too old to be wearing a shirt with the sides cut that low, and that he loves us both.” Asahi was leaning more towards horrified now. “Ryu asked what your workout routine is, and if we want to meet up with him and Chikara. Shouyou sent a picture back-” Noya angled the phone towards Asahi, showing him a picture of a shirtless Aone making breakfast, a fat pleased looking cat perched on his impossibly wide shoulders.

“Oh.” Asahi tilts his head at the picture.

“Yeah, the guy has muscles on top of his muscles.” Shouyou also asked if Noya and Asahi wanted to meet up. Chikara answered with a simple ‘Stop.’ so of course Noya sent him a picture of his grinning face.

“Do you- I mean you probably have a lot- I think it might be fun?” Asahi stutters out and Noya taps his knee twice against Asahi’s, smiling as he put everyone in a group chat, knowing how much everyone loved group chats. He showed Asahi the happy responses, tossing out times and locations, to which Asahi smiled. 

Noya felt warm all over, he finally felt home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote like 3 different endings to this story (one where it was a couple years later, one at the actual wedding, one when most of the Karasuno players meet up) but they all felt a little off so this is it, this is the end! Sorry if you felt it was abrupt or you want more information. Does anyone even read these end notes? I usually just look to see if they've posted fanart of the stories in them.

**Author's Note:**

> Who can't write one-shot stories? Me, it's always me. It was just suppose to be cute and quick, now everyone's sad and I just want good things for these precious little birds.
> 
> And for those who may care (because lots of new, OC are confusing):  
> Kaito: 22. Youngest Azumane child. Marrying Nishinoya Masako (middle child, only girl). Professional violinist.
> 
> Asahi: 26. You know him.
> 
> Sora: 28. Married 2 years to Airi. Looks resemble Haruki. Teases Asahi.
> 
> Haruki: 29. Unmarried. Defends Asahi.
> 
> Noburu: 33. Married 11 years to Emiko, two daughters (ages 9 and 5). Works with Papa Azumane at the family law firm in Tokyo.


End file.
